Parenthood

A stunning story appeared in the news recently. A 24-year-old man shot his stepfather five times, simply because the stepfather asked for the TV remote control. Obviously, this person has more serious problems than a addiction to TV (although he might serve well as a poster child for TV addiction).

I am sure many people would shake their heads and wag their fingers disparagingly at this young man. However....

Raise your hand, if you remember fighting over the TV remote as a child? As an adult?

Be honest.

I did. I have many not-so-fond memories of bickering and squabbling over the TV remote with my two little sisters. My turn! No mine! You already watched your show! Your show is stupid! Is not! Is too! It's my turn! No fair!

Every kid I knew in those days had these disputes too.

TV's Bicker Factor

For some reason, it seems to be an integral part of the TV experience. Watching TV = fighting over the remote control. I am not sure why this would be the case. It is just one of those crazy aspects of TV watching. Extra TV's do not always help either. Then the bickering often switches to who gets to watch on the biggest or the best TV.

It's also one of those things that no one seems to question. However, consider this. Why would people fight so much over a chance to stare at a piece of furniture? What is it about TV that causes this reaction? Sure, the man who shot his stepfather over the remote had other serious problems. However, what about the rest of us? What's everyone else's excuse?

Something About TV

I think this problem may be deeper than most people realize. I remember noticing when I was experimenting with limiting TV that the kids fought less on the days when they were not watching TV. Their behavior improved even more the longer the TV was OFF. This was not just over the remote. This was in general. They would find something to bicker about. I am not sure why this is the case. Maybe aliens are beaming "you will fight with your family" messages into TV sets. Maybe TV is somehow irritating to the system, even though the TV lulls viewers into a relaxed, hypnotic trance.

I further observed that while they did not necessarily fight while they were engrossed in a show, they definitely fought when there was an interruption or their program ended. Likewise, the man who shot his stepfather, did it after his stepfather asked for the remote. It appears that once the trance is broken, viewers become irritated, some more than others.

Violent content makes problem worse

Of course, violent content makes this problem worse. Most of the studies that look at TV's effect on violent behavior just look at the violent content of programs. Naturally, the studies find that violent TV programs make people more violent.

However, there seems to be something more going on that is inherent to the medium of television. The bicker factor was one of the main reasons I decided to get rid of our family TV. It wasn't a fancy study that changed my mind, just good old-fashioned observation.

Source:
http://www.wric.com/Global/story.asp?S=5970532

Online autism groups can help you cope with your struggle of living with an autistic child, sibling, partner or parent. There are plenty of websites, blogs and chat rooms all over the net that are designed for the purpose of allowing autistic individuals and those who love and care for them, virtually meet online and share information and offer one another support.

The following are some of the benefits of joining online autism groups:

Meet others who are suffering too – There are millions of people all over the world who suffer from some form of autism. Therefore, one of the first aspects you will realize when you join an autism support group online is that you are far from alone. Uniting with others who understand your struggle can help you mentally and emotionally cope with your situation, and may even better your relationship with your autistic child, sibling, partner, or parent. As an additional bonus, support groups are another excellent way to make new friends.

Expand your knowledge – You may think you know everything there is about autism, but even if you've read every book going, learning about the experience of others is a whole other type of education. Moreover, many online autism groups talk about the latest autism news regarding studies involving the cause of the disorder, as well as news regarding the latest medical and alternative treatments. The more you know about autism, and the different approaches you can try to assist you in coping with the disorder, the better.

Help others cope – Sharing your stories, listening to others, and allowing other group members to vent frustrations is not only helpful to them, but also to you. Providing another person with knowledge and hope is a great feeling. Being part of a support group is about depending on one another. Therefore, don't be afraid to share your information and knowledge of autism with others. Even if you don't have the answers others are looking for, you can at least listen, empathize, and lend emotional support.

Keep reading to discover more reasons why you should join an Autism support group online and to sign up for the free newsletter that offers information and advice on recognizing and treating autism below.

How to find local groups

Aside from providing you with online autism forums, some websites may be able to help you locate an autism group you can become involved in that's close to your home. An example of a site that may be helpful is autismlink.com

Other great ways to find local groups in your area include:

 Conduct an online search with your city and "autism support group" as your keyword phrase (I.E. "sacramento autism support group"). Note: if your town or city doesn't return any results, try the name of the largest city that is close to you.

 Ask the health care provider who is familiar with your child's, partner's, etc. autism, for recommendations.

 Contact your city council and ask about local autism groups.

 Ask for referrals from other parents or a fellow online group member, if they know of any local groups in your area.

Autism can be difficult to deal with at times, and no one should ever suffer alone or in silence. Even if you don't have the time or the desire to join support groups in your area, it is worth considering joining online autism groups to help give you peace of mind.

Why do parents want to give their child up for adoption? If you are the loving parent of a child that you can't imagine giving up or if you are considering adopting a child this may be a question that you are asking.

One reason why many women may give up a child for adoption is that they are still very young and do not yet feel capable of properly caring for a child. The modern times have seen an increasing number of teenage girls who are falling pregnant. Many of these girls had not planned this and may have other plans for completing their schooling, college or simply are too young to care for a child. In this case adoption may be the best option for them and for their child.

Another reason why a birthmother may give up a child for adoption is that she may have personal problems with drugs and alcohol which prevent her being a good mother to her child. If in addition to having drug or alcohol problems the mother also does not have the necessary support in raising her child she may find it necessary to give her child up for adoption.

Some birthmothers are caught in an abusive situation and although they feel like they cannot escape themselves (or do not wish to) they realize that this is not the environment to raise a child and so may find comfort by giving their child up for adoption.

Rape and incest are an unfortunate reality today and when a child is born of these relationships the birthmother may find it extremely difficult to come to terms with the situation and may perceive the child as punishment and a constant reminder of the situation she would rather forget. By giving her child up for adoption she is able to provide the best for her child without constantly having to deal with a very painful past.

Birthmothers with mental illnesses may also need to give their child up for adoption. If the mother realizes that with her current mental condition she is not properly able to care for her child and does not have the needed support to help her then she may consider giving her child up for adoption.

There are a number of reasons why a birthmother may give her child up for adoption, ranging from being too young and immature to properly care for a child, to having mental problems, problems with alcohol and drugs, or struggling to forget a painful rape or incestuous relationship. In many cases giving a child up for adoption is a very painful thing for the mother and something which really needs our understanding in these matters and accepting of her decision in what she feels is best for her child.

How you decide to raise your children is entirely dependent on your morals, values, ideology and how you were raised. Everyone has different methods of raising their children. What unites all parents is their want for what is best for their children. We want them to be respectful, goal-oriented, forward thinking, compassionate, strong and, most of all, happy.
In the process, though, we must have those attributes to show our children how it is done. Above all, consistently living values and morals is the most effective way to teach them to your children. Saying one thing and doing another sends the message that it is okay not to live up to your word and that hypocrisy is acceptable.

For example, if you follow an organized religion, do so faithfully. Follow the religious principles, attend services regularly and search for guidance through the institution. This will show your child that religion is something important in your life that should be important to them as well. They may not fully understand the values of the religion until they are older, but as long as they know that it is important they will make the effort to follow faithfully.

Another prime example is smoking. If you teach your children that smoking is bad but are a smoker yourself, your children will think that it is okay. If they see a parent who smokes as happy, healthy and loving, the connection between smoking and disease will never be made. No matter what you tell them about the negative effects of smoking, all they see is a smoker living a happy, normal life. In this case there are two options: to be miserable, angry and depressed to connect smoking with sickness, or to quit smoking. When making health choices it is important to remember that the effects of these decisions affect not only you, but your children as well.

Don't waver about what you want a child to do, especially when they are young. Be clear with your messages. If you tell them that hitting is wrong, don't give them any exceptions. They are too young to understand which times it would be okay to hit and which times it would not be okay, which means that smacking them on the hand should not be a form of punishment. They will not be able to separate what mommy or daddy is allowed to do from what they are allowed to do.
Most of what children learn, especially before they are at an age where they attend school regularly, they learn from their parents. Just because they don't understand some things does not mean they are not watching what you do. It is important to practice what you preach. If you want your children to live up to your moral standards, you have to live up to them first. Whatever your morals are, stick to them. Whatever your parenting strategy, don't sacrifice it just so your child will be your friend. Remember that you are a role model for your children.

Since children imitate most of what their parents do, it is important for you to teach them through action, not just words. The values and morals you want your child to learn will only be passed on if you live them first.

Avoiding the blame game is one way to teach your child about responsibility. Even if you are right, you do not want to teach your children that it is okay to pass the blame onto somebody else.
This happens quite often in children's sports, though it is not the children that are doing the blaming. Parents in the stands frequently fight with each other, the coach or the referee if the game isn't going as well as they would like. Sometimes your child might not get as much playing time as you would like, a ref makes a bad call or another player gets away with a penalty against your child. Yelling, screaming and fighting will not solve the problem; it will only embarrass your children and yourself.

In these cases it is important to remember that no one can take about your child's talent. As long as your children work hard, their abilities will show on the playing field, in spite of a few questionable calls. In the game of life, there is a lot of room for human error.

Blaming others sends the message that you are trying to deflect responsibility. It shouldn't be about winning an argument or proving you were right. It should be about being a good role model for you children. Instead of blaming others, this about what you can do to make the situation better. Instead of blaming the referee, simply say "You played a great game."

Your children will face obstacles in which the will not have the opportunity to blame someone else, even if it is not their fault. For example, if you child spends all night on a homework assignment and then the computer crashes, he or she faces a serious challenge. Teachers do not want to hear "the dog ate my homework." Instead of making up excuses or trying to place blame on the school or computer, your child must come up with a way to get the assignment done.
Think about what would happen if your child has seen you placing blame. He or she will think about following your example and will try to look for a way to blame it on someone or something else. Teaching these bad habits now will not profit your child later when he or she enters the work force. If their boss asks them to do something they can't do, they can blame others all they want, but the boss won't want to hear it. The boss is only concerned about how the problem will be fixed.

You have to teach your children now, through your own behavior, that even when you can't control a situation you can improve it. Things will not always go their way, and you have to teach them how to take responsibility and come up with ways to compensate for unavoidable accidents or the mistakes of others.