Parenthood

A stunning story appeared in the news recently. A 24-year-old man shot his stepfather five times, simply because the stepfather asked for the TV remote control. Obviously, this person has more serious problems than a addiction to TV (although he might serve well as a poster child for TV addiction).

I am sure many people would shake their heads and wag their fingers disparagingly at this young man. However....

Raise your hand, if you remember fighting over the TV remote as a child? As an adult?

Be honest.

I did. I have many not-so-fond memories of bickering and squabbling over the TV remote with my two little sisters. My turn! No mine! You already watched your show! Your show is stupid! Is not! Is too! It's my turn! No fair!

Every kid I knew in those days had these disputes too.

TV's Bicker Factor

For some reason, it seems to be an integral part of the TV experience. Watching TV = fighting over the remote control. I am not sure why this would be the case. It is just one of those crazy aspects of TV watching. Extra TV's do not always help either. Then the bickering often switches to who gets to watch on the biggest or the best TV.

It's also one of those things that no one seems to question. However, consider this. Why would people fight so much over a chance to stare at a piece of furniture? What is it about TV that causes this reaction? Sure, the man who shot his stepfather over the remote had other serious problems. However, what about the rest of us? What's everyone else's excuse?

Something About TV

I think this problem may be deeper than most people realize. I remember noticing when I was experimenting with limiting TV that the kids fought less on the days when they were not watching TV. Their behavior improved even more the longer the TV was OFF. This was not just over the remote. This was in general. They would find something to bicker about. I am not sure why this is the case. Maybe aliens are beaming "you will fight with your family" messages into TV sets. Maybe TV is somehow irritating to the system, even though the TV lulls viewers into a relaxed, hypnotic trance.

I further observed that while they did not necessarily fight while they were engrossed in a show, they definitely fought when there was an interruption or their program ended. Likewise, the man who shot his stepfather, did it after his stepfather asked for the remote. It appears that once the trance is broken, viewers become irritated, some more than others.

Violent content makes problem worse

Of course, violent content makes this problem worse. Most of the studies that look at TV's effect on violent behavior just look at the violent content of programs. Naturally, the studies find that violent TV programs make people more violent.

However, there seems to be something more going on that is inherent to the medium of television. The bicker factor was one of the main reasons I decided to get rid of our family TV. It wasn't a fancy study that changed my mind, just good old-fashioned observation.

Source:
http://www.wric.com/Global/story.asp?S=5970532

The most important thing to do when you get the results of the paternity testing is to open and read it with the present of alleged father. This is done to make sure nobody will fill rejected. By comparing the dna characteristics of the mother and child, it is not impossible to identify what the make-up of the father's dna should look like. That is why it is so important for all parties to understand and look the results together.

These days, the dna testing for paternity is cheap like last time. Not all testing are cheap and easy to get. The amount of money needed for this type of testing can range from reasonable to a large value of cash in your pocket, but it all depend on what kind of testing and for what level of the scrutiny is. Also, costs for testing generally vary from lab to lab depending upon the size and type of the specimen to be tested. This type of testing does not want a significant value of blood sampling from the father in question or the child. For your information, there are three different companies that provide paternity testing; you can search the Internet to find the companies in your area. Companies offering the dna analysis must be trusted to perform the task by all the rules and regulations of the state they reside in for now.

The growth of adoption reunions are very common and definitely has its own disadvantages. When a child finds out the paternity test proves who they thought since a long time ago was not their true father, it can be very painful to them. This will ensure a sense of clarity and certainty for the man who feels the child is not of his offspring. There are many reasons for people to establish paternity; whatever the reason maybe just make sure you have the right person the first time. By comparing the genetic material of a child to that of any adults involved in the situation, there is a very good chance the parents can be found.

Did you know?

A simple dna home test can be a strong indicator of paternity of a man who can not afford the more expensive tests. Although most samples of dna collected for paternity tests are collected in a lab, it is possible to bring in a sample of dna for testing as well.

A family can find out very fast if there is a biological relationship between a child and a father with a paternity test. The most important thing about getting the results of the test is that; you will finally know once and for all who the actual father of the child is. Although dna is as undeniable as ever for determining paternity, the people reading and analyzing the data can make errors. The most unreliable thing to do when taking a paternity testing at home is; getting a dna sample from the real father and telling someone else that they are the father.

It is pretty ironic that, tonight, as I sit and contemplate, procrastinate, fidget and generally nibble my way through this column, the main focus of my article has gone up in a puff of smoke. Instead of the usual screaming, arguing and general beating each other round the head with the nearest thing to hand, my kids got along really well today. How inconvenient. Usually, we teeter precariously on the knife edge that is sibling rivalry, something that, I have to confess, totally stumps me. Yes, I can appreciate all the childcare guru analysis about stages, needs, acting out and pushing limits, but, as an only child myself, I simply cannot begin to comprehend what it must be like to have a sibling in the first place, to have to share the people you love most in the whole wide world and, on top of that, to have to share them with people you don't even like all the time. It is profoundly weird for me to imagine my mum giving another child a hug and a kiss and a bedtime story. I found it tough enough to share her with the cat, for crying out loud. My immediate family is quite suffocatingly small and so I did all my growing up in a pretty hit and miss way. Now, as a mother of three, I look back and wonder what on earth I actually did with all that time I would have used punching my sister, had I had one.

Tweenager was 5 when Goldilocks came along and the surges of pure guilt I had when we brought the new bundle home were staggering. Instead of giving her a sister, I felt that I was taking away half a mother. I didn't know how to share her and I didn't know how to let her share me. We stumbled along and all went OK, mainly because Tweenager was still so young, but this was the quiet before the storm as all hell broke loose when Squidget came along. I was frequently off with baby, pureeing mush or squirting milk everywhere and suddenly, my kitchen turned into a permanent arena for what, to me, looked like some kind of bizarre, no-rules extreme contact sport of pushing, shouting and random acts of lying on the floor and screaming. Sibling rivalry had entered our home and I was flummoxed. I sought help. Alpha Female in London is one of five sisters and delighted in making me turn puce with stories of how she and her sisters would viciously scratch each other's faces or throw one another down flights of stairs – over a stolen make up brush. Busy Husband told me story after story about trips to casualty after his sister stabbed his hand with a fork for attempting to steal a chip from her plate, or purposeful and deliberate breaking of each other's fingers. My blood ran cold and I watched and waited for my kids, now aged 8 and 3, to inflict untold misery upon each other in the name of 'normal' sisterly love.

I don't know about you, but I think it is incredibly stressful to live in a house where emotional fireworks might go off at any given time, even if they are those of a toddler and young child. I try to pre-empt explosions before they happen and, if the grenades do go off, my natural inclination is to wade in there each and every time, referee-style with my cap and whistle, and resolve the conflict, usually by just adding a few decibels to the noise levels – not very helpful I admit. So I huff and puff and promise not to get involved and to let them 'find their own way', but after half an hour of combined whining, screeching and unexplained thumps and crashes, I always give in and, ultimately, don't make it any better. Then, five minutes later, they astound me by chasing each other around the garden, beaming and giggling like long-lost best friends.

Sibling rivalry is like watching Darwinian theory in practice: the competition to get attention/love/approval/a new hamster is fierce and the game is (usually) one worth winning. Busy Husband and I really set ourselves up for a fall by having 3 girls: oh, the horror stories I have read about same-sex sibling rivalry and its propensity to cause emotional problems, mental illness, global warming – you name it, they'll cause it, in themselves and others. And yet, as individual kids, neither Goldilocks nor Tweenager are jealous or unreasonable types. Bolshy, stubborn and loud, yes, but pretty laid back. We have done all the 'right' things: given them space/more attention, not favoured one over the other/reprimanded unacceptable behaviour, set out 'rules of engagement'/left them alone. To be honest, we have probably temporarily succeeded in sufficiently confusing them into realising the fight just isn't worth it. Perhaps that's why they made my heart melt today with their affection and general cuteness towards one another. Having said that, I don't think I'll be packing up my hard hat just yet…

While I was out walking earlier today; I could not help but to rush back home into my house to share this article with you. It comes from me observing my surroundings watching and listening to little boys and girls play outdoors. After circling around the sidewalk and hearing and watching their method of fun it's "heart-breaking" to see them unattended and not looked upon at all. I spent thirty minutes outdoors and not one time did I see or hear any adult or someone responsible for the kids' well-being.

I know it's sometimes necessary to find a time to relax and take off the hat of parenting; but also we still have to be aware of what our children are doing when they go outside and play. You want to make sure your children are having fun, but at the same time you want them to be in an environment that's safe and beneficial for their well-being. You want to make sure you are in eye distance being able to see where your children are at all- times, this is good parenting. I'm all for children having fun and playing; but by the same token I also believe there should also be a certain amount of restrictions and rules that will be beneficial for your child.

You may even want to set a certain time period for your child to check in from time to time so you will know their whereabouts. Any good parent knows where their child is at, at all times. If your child decided to go over to your next door neighbor you as a parent should know this. We hear far too many abductions, kidnappings, and children being taken away mysteriously and I do not want that to happen to any parent, but unfortunately it does happen across the land. This is all the more reason why we as parents should be aware of our children's surroundings.

It's our responsibility as parents to set the ground rules while children are out playing. Most kid's think everything is fun; and don't really pay attention to what they are doing outside from time to time. As parents we should have dos and don'ts to prevent unexpected expenses that could come from not being aware of what our child or children are doing. To help keep your children safe you should make sure they do not play around dumpsters, thoroughfare traffic, or anything else that could be detrimental to their welfare.

While your child or children are outside having fun whether they're using the trampoline, swimming, etc make sure you have adequate supervision or make sure you check on them regularly. I'm all for being away from my child occasionally when I'm not in her presence, but if she's in walking distance or eye distance then I'm keeping watch over her making sure she's well mannered and safe at all cost.

Your child or children are an asset to you and not a liability. Look, Children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of your womb is a reward. Psalm 127:3. If you are struggling with your parental rights and responsibilities sign-up to receive tips on life in general and I can help you with your parenting concerns.
Copyright © 2007 Clark A. Thomas